I thought that the older I got my youthful anger would dissipate. Well it did. Sort of.

I don’t think it ever really dissappeared. It’s just that time sped up so much that for long periods of time it became difficult to keep track of. To keep that fire alive, inspiration needs to flow. It’s oh so easy to wake up each day and decided that today is not the day. Then the week is not the week and the month is not the month. The stark truth is it’s hard to get things done. Why can it not be easier?

I’m afraid this is also not an awakening. I want to feel the anger when I wake up tomorrow but instead I’ll just do what I always do.

When I was young I could surround myself with energy that fed off the same emotion and fire. From music and art and friends. However those bands and artists and friends have largely lost their fire without anyone taking their place. Why can I no longer find that flame?